The best music jokes

Music teacher tells Peter: "I warn you, if you will not behave, as appropriate, I tell your parents that you have a talent for music."
Vote: has 86.34 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, teacher
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
Vote: has 84.96 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
At a dancing party a shy boy approached a girl and asked, "Will you dance with me, please?" The arrogant girl says, "I don’t dance with a kid." The taken back boy apologized, "I am sorry, I did not realize you were pregnant."
Vote: has 84.33 % from 156 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, music, women
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
Vote: has 83.08 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Perly Gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I’m granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want." The first nun says, "I want-a to be Sophia Loren" and *poof!* she’s gone. The second says, "I want-a to be Madonna" and *poof!* she’s gone. The third says, "I want-a to be Sara Pipalini." St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says. "Sara Pipalini" replies the nun. St. Peter shakes his head and says "I’m sorry but that name just doesn’t ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says “No Sister, this says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days!'"
Vote: has 82.81 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, god, heaven, music, women
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porn theatre to see the adult movie. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row of the adult cinema, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M, bondage and even a dog. After a while watching the adult movie, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."
Vote: has 82.28 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, disgusting, dog, men, music
When I was young, my slippers were red, I could pick up my heels right over my head. When I grew older, my slippers were blue, but still I could dance the whole night through.
Vote: has 82.22 % from 421 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, old people
I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it! You never know when you might need a nail.
Vote: has 82.13 % from 96 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, music
I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?" I said "Because he didn't die in real life"
Vote: has 81.83 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, death, life, music
A man walks into a bar and notices his friend sitting alone staring at a tiny man on the table playing the piano. "Wow, look how small he is, where did you get him?!" Says the man. "Oh, well there's this genie round the back of bar, and he grants you whatever wish you want." Sure enough, the man goes round the back of the bar and there sits a genie. "You grant wishes right?" "Yes." replies the genie. "Hmm, I'd like a million bucks." Then, out of nowhere, a million ducks appear, and waddle behind the annoyed man as he goes back into the bar. "Look, that genie gave me ducks instead of bucks!" His friends sitting at the table replies, "Well yeah, do you really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?"
Vote: has 81.47 % from 212 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, duck, genie, men, music