The best music jokes

Bob had been listening to his wife practicing her singing. "Honey," he said, "I wish you'd sing the songs about Women's Day." "That's nice of you, Bob," she said. "Why?" "Then I'd only have to hear you once a year!"
Vote: has 85.70 % from 371 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand? A: Thunder.
Vote: has 85.52 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? A: Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say: "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Vote: has 85.29 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

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When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
Vote: has 85.06 % from 140 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
What concert costs only 45 cents? 50cent featuring Nickelback.
Vote: has 84.52 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
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I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it! You never know when you might need a nail.
Vote: has 83.54 % from 112 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, music
At a dancing party a shy boy approached a girl and asked, "Will you dance with me, please?" The arrogant girl says, "I don’t dance with a kid." The taken back boy apologized, "I am sorry, I did not realize you were pregnant."
Vote: has 83.48 % from 190 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, music, women
A guy walks into a tavern. As he walked up to the bar he noticed a twelve-inch man playing the piano, so he asked the bartender, "What's that all about?" The bartender told him he that would tell him later. So the guy asked the bartender for a drink. The bartender said, "Before you get your drink, you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make one wish." "Okay," said the guy. He went over to the magic beer bottle and rubbed it. Poof. Out came a genie. The genie, of course, said, "You have one wish." The guy thought about it and then wished for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke filled the room, and then both the genie and the guy disappeared. In a few minutes, the guy reappeared back in the bar with a million ducks all around him. The guy was astounded and said to the bartender, "Hey! I didn't want a million ducks." The bartender replied, "Do you think I wanted a twelve-inch Pianist?"
Vote: has 83.37 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bartender, duck, genie, money, music
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Perly Gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I’m granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want." The first nun says, "I want-a to be Sophia Loren" and *poof!* she’s gone. The second says, "I want-a to be Madonna" and *poof!* she’s gone. The third says, "I want-a to be Sara Pipalini." St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says. "Sara Pipalini" replies the nun. St. Peter shakes his head and says "I’m sorry but that name just doesn’t ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says “No Sister, this says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days!'"
Vote: has 82.72 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

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