The best music jokes

Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? A: Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say: "Bach, Bach, Bach."
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More jokes about: animal, death, music
Bob had been listening to his wife practicing her singing. "Honey," he said, "I wish you'd sing the songs about Women's Day." "That's nice of you, Bob," she said. "Why?" "Then I'd only have to hear you once a year!"
Vote: has 84.94 % from 389 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: mean, music, time, wife, women
At a dancing party a shy boy approached a girl and asked, "Will you dance with me, please?" The arrogant girl says, "I don’t dance with a kid." The taken back boy apologized, "I am sorry, I did not realize you were pregnant."
Vote: has 84.33 % from 208 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, music, women
I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it! You never know when you might need a nail.
Vote: has 83.71 % from 128 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, music
A guy walks into a tavern. As he walked up to the bar he noticed a twelve-inch man playing the piano, so he asked the bartender, "What's that all about?" The bartender told him he that would tell him later. So the guy asked the bartender for a drink. The bartender said, "Before you get your drink, you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make one wish." "Okay," said the guy. He went over to the magic beer bottle and rubbed it. Poof. Out came a genie. The genie, of course, said, "You have one wish." The guy thought about it and then wished for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke filled the room, and then both the genie and the guy disappeared. In a few minutes, the guy reappeared back in the bar with a million ducks all around him. The guy was astounded and said to the bartender, "Hey! I didn't want a million ducks." The bartender replied, "Do you think I wanted a twelve-inch Pianist?"
Vote: has 83.63 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bartender, duck, genie, money, music
Music teacher tells Peter: "I warn you, if you will not behave, as appropriate, I tell your parents that you have a talent for music."
Vote: has 83.37 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: music, teacher
Before they met Chuck Norris, the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
Vote: has 82.84 % from 176 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
At Christmas time, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep. Maybe that's why I'm no longer a fireman.
Vote: has 82.31 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, music, time, wine, work
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
Vote: has 81.88 % from 160 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music. While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money. "Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."
Vote: has 81.79 % from 399 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, music


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