The best Santa jokes

Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
Vote: has 86.82 % from 1954 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, horse, insulting, money, Santa
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
Vote: has 86.39 % from 1907 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, horse, insulting, money, Santa
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
Vote: has 85.15 % from 935 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, Santa
Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused, his father asks what's wrong. "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."
Vote: has 84.41 % from 311 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, dad, easter, little Johnny, Santa
Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK? A: He can claim Gift Relief.
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geography, Santa, tax
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Vote: has 80.19 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, game, kids, mean, Santa
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
Vote: has 75.62 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: christian, Chuck Norris, Santa
How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, money, Santa
You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, Christmas, Santa