Failed my biology test today: They asked, "What is commonly found in cells?" Apparently "black people" wasn't the correct answer.
Q: Why do Jewish men get circumcised? A: Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20% off.
How can you tell a black guy has been on your computer? It's not there.
Q: Why are all black people fast? A: The slow ones are in jail.
Three guys (Asian, American, and a Mexican) are on a hot air balloon trying to get back home. Something punctured the hot air balloon so now its going down really fast. The three guys decided to throw stuff that they don't need away so the balloon won't fall down too fast. The Asian threw away rice and said, "I have a lot of this in my country." The Mexican threw away beans and said, "I have a lot of this in my country." The American threw over the Mexican. The Asian was like, "Why did you do that for?" The American said, "We have a lot of these in my country."
What's Mexicos National sport? Cross Country.
Q: Why aren't there any Wal Marts in Afghanistan? A: Because there is a Target on every corner.
A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face. "Owch!" the Chinese man says. "What was that for?" "That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jewish man says. "But I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" And the Jewish man sits back down. Then, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face. "Ouch!" the Jewish man says. "What was that for?" "That was for the Titanic," the Chinese man says. "But that was an iceberg!" "Ice berg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
Q: How was copper wire invented? A: Two jews fighting over a penny.