Yo mama so fat she irons her pants on the driveway.
Q: Why are gays so happy? A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once? A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
Q: Why do French tanks have rear-view mirrors? A: So they can see the battlefield.
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"
Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
A crazy man jumps from the bushes and opens his coat in front of an old lady to surprise and terrify her. The granny takes a look at him and sais: "oh, dash, I´ve forgotten to buy the eggs."
Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sex with them. One nun says "God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!" The second nun says "Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!"
Yo mama is so old that when she walked out of a museum the alarm went off.