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A girl married with a man who had only one foot. Next day her mother rang her and asked: "My little tell me how did U feel the marriage?" Her daughter replied: "Woo real splendid; alas he has only one foot!" Her mom answered: "You must be too lucky, when I married your dad; he had only one inch!"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, family, sex, wedding
My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?" I replied I prefer the good one. Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!" I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, death, doctor, life, time
Always be yourself. Unless you can be quiet, then be that.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my kale?"
Vote: has 80.46 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, food, health
Me: "Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know." Waiter: "I asked if you were dining alone." Me: "Oh, sorry. Yes."
Vote: has 82.03 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, food, single
Pal: "My advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it!" Me: "Guess how many buses it took me to get here."
Vote: has 87.60 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dating, love, travel, women
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
Vote: has 81.21 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, fat, food, kids, relationship
"Daddy, there is a man at the door. He says he is collecting for the nursing home." "That's perfect. Tell him grandpa is coming in a moment."
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dad, family
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: christian, relationship
getting ready to stone a prostitute that had been caught in the act. Jesus said, "Let the first stone be thrown by someone who has never sinned" Suddenly, a rock comes flying over the crowd. Jesus turned, looks and then comments. "Mother!!"
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:




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