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Let's walk and talk. You go that way.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, mean, travel
My kids get along great when they're sleeping.
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
I hope this gas station sells Father's Day cards.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, memory
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dating, kids, money, sex
I got stopped by a police officer on the way here. He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, fitness, flirt, mean
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, fitness, flirt, food, sex
This elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up.
Vote: has 52.49 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fitness, flirt
Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him."
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, love, navy, religious, Valentines day
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, death, management, military
Q: Why couldn't the sailors play cards? A: The captain was sitting on the deck.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: game, military, navy



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