New jokes

"Grandpa, grandpa! I'm watching a soccer game!" Grandpa: "Who's playing?" Grandson: "Austria-Hungary." Grandpa: "Against who?"
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: soccer
Breaking news: A man was admitted to the hospital today with 23 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum. Doctors have described his condition as stable.
has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, hospital
Dad: What is the opposite of ladyfingers? The family: No idea Dad: Mentos
has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dad, family
A little old man who's hard of hearing goes to see the doctor. As he can't hear very well, he takes his wife with him. The doctor examines the man and then says, "Hmm, I think we need to take a stool sample, a urine sample and a sperm sample." The old man turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?" The wife replies, "He said he wants your underwear."
has 58.99 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, old people
I saw a girl crying, so I asked her "Where are your parents?" and she started crying even more. Man, I love working at the orphanage.
has 57.04 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids
What did the light bulb say to the switch? You turn me on.
has 61.39 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: flirt, light bulb
My granddad always used to say; "As one door closes, another one opens..." Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.
has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dad, old people
I was on a train and this woman opposite looked at me and said "Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place..." I asked "Are you single?" She replied "No, I'm a dentist."
has 80.05 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dentist, flirt, women
Wife: I'm leaving you. Me: Is it because I act like I know everything? Wife: Yes. Me: I knew it.
has 85.68 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: divorce, wife
Wife: "Honey let's play a game?" Husband: "Ok, what is the game all about?" Wife: "If I mention a country, you will run to the left side of the room and touch the wall. And if I mention a bird you will run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you will give me all your salary for the month." Husband: "Ok and if you fail, I will have your salary too right?" Wife: (smile) "Yes darling." Husband: "Ok" (stood up and was ready to run to any direction) Wife: "Are u ready?" Husband: "Yes, ready." Wife: "Turkey" It has been 4 hours now the husband is still standing at the spot wondering if she meant the country or the bird.
has 63.42 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, wife

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