The best redneck jokes

Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in the Outback. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.  The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.  At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.  The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyser test.  To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyser equipment must be broken." "I doubt it," said the truly proud Redneck. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
Vote: has 86.37 % from 223 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, car, cop, redneck
Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
Vote: has 84.34 % from 118 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, redneck
Whats the cheapest type of meat that a redneck can buy? Deer balls, they're under a buck.
Vote: has 83.16 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, redneck
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
Vote: has 80.44 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, redneck
Q: Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve? A: All the DNA matches and there's no dental records.
Vote: has 80.25 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, family, redneck
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
Vote: has 80.24 % from 328 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport
Q: What is a redneck's last words? A: Hold my beer and watch this!
Vote: has 78.68 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, death, redneck
Q: Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left everything to his beloved widow? A: She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
Vote: has 77.53 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, death, redneck, wife
Q: What do two rednecks say after breaking up? A: Lets just be cousins.
Vote: has 73.80 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, redneck, relationship
Q: What do you call a redneck virgin? A: A 7 year old that can run faster than her brothers.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 141 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, racist, redneck