The best redneck jokes

Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
Vote: has 85.25 % from 150 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, redneck
Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in the Outback. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.  The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.  At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.  The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyser test.  To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyser equipment must be broken." "I doubt it," said the truly proud Redneck. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
Vote: has 84.70 % from 258 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, car, cop, redneck
A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States." The receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?" Redneck: "Why, is it required?"
Vote: has 83.96 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geography, phone, political, redneck, stupid
Whats the cheapest type of meat that a redneck can buy? Deer balls, they're under a buck.
Vote: has 82.93 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, redneck
Q: Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve? A: All the DNA matches and there's no dental records.
Vote: has 82.65 % from 99 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, family, redneck
Half dressed redneck couple sitting on a couch watching the news on TV with man's arm around the woman. The man says "Lookit them homo-sekshuls a ruining the sanctity of our institution. "We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. " "Right, Darlin." The woman replies, "That's right, Daddy."
Vote: has 79.57 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, family, redneck, relationship, travel
Two Reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder: Firstly, the DNA all matches and secondly, there are no dental records.
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, dentist, life, mean, redneck
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
Vote: has 78.56 % from 363 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport
Q: What is a redneck's last words? A: Hold my beer and watch this!
Vote: has 77.19 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, death, redneck
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
Vote: has 76.96 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, redneck