The best redneck jokes

Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in the Outback. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.  The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.  At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.  The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyser test.  To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyser equipment must be broken." "I doubt it," said the truly proud Redneck. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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has 86.07 % from 397 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, car, cop, redneck
Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
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has 84.84 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, redneck
Q: Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve? A: All the DNA matches and there's no dental records.
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has 84.38 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: death, family, redneck
You know you're a redneck when your mom, dad, aunt, and uncle are two people.
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has 83.88 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: family, redneck
Whats the cheapest type of meat that a redneck can buy? Deer balls, they're under a buck.
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has 80.89 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: food, redneck
A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States." The receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?" Redneck: "Why, is it required?"
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has 80.13 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: geography, phone, political, redneck, stupid
Q: What is a redneck's last words? A: Hold my beer and watch this!
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has 79.44 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: beer, death, redneck
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
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has 77.80 % from 409 votes. More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport
Q: What do two rednecks say after breaking up? A: Lets just be cousins.
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has 77.54 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: family, redneck, relationship
Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out. After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?" "Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!" "What do you brush with?" asked the dentist. "Preparation H," said the redneck.
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has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: dentist, doctor, medical, redneck, stupid
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