When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.
Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
After Graduating from High School, David moves away from home to study at University. One of his letters home reads: Dear Father, University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back. Dear David, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad
You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."
After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Josh. At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts "Let Josh graduate, let Josh graduate!" The principal agrees to give Josh one last chance. "If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Josh, how many apples do I have?" he asked. Josh thought long and hard and then said: "Ten." And the entire senior class stood up and shouted, "Give Josh another chance. Give Josh another chance!"
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