Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused, his father asks what's wrong. "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most? A: Fry-days.
Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Therefore, chocolate is salad. Happy Easter!
Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´ A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? A: He was having a bad hare day!
Q: Why do we paint Easter eggs? A: Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.