Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused, his father asks what's wrong. "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´ A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most? A: Fry-days.
Q: How does Jesus celebrate Easter? A: He gets a manicure, pedicure, and has his nails polished.
Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it?? A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.