There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
Algorithm. Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.
Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it. Now I have two problems.
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.