The best chocolate jokes

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
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More jokes about: catholic, chocolate, food, god, kids
A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you." The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" "No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business."
Vote: has 82.95 % from 184 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, business, chocolate, kids
Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? A: To get chocolate milk.
Vote: has 82.72 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, chocolate, stupid
Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, chocolate, food, stupid
Q: Why did they invent white chocolate? A: So all black kids could get their faces messy too.
Vote: has 74.78 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, chocolate, racist
Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. “Crushed nuts?” asked the server. “No,” he answered. “Bad knees.”
Vote: has 73.75 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, old people
Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. - You can have chocolate in in public. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.
Vote: has 72.61 % from 133 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, sex
Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert? A: Chocolate mousse.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, chocolate, geography
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex