The best communication jokes

Three guys were sitting in a biker bar. A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table. He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face and said, "I went by your grandma's house and I saw her in the hallway, buck naked. Man, she is fine!" The biker looked at him and didn't say a word. His buddies were confused,because he was a bad ass, and would fight at he drop of a hat. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker still said nothing. His buddies were starting to get mad. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I'll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!" The biker stood up, took the drunk by the shoulder and said, "Damn it, Grandpa, you're drunk! Go home!"
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, communication, dad, drunk
Q: What did the grape say when it was crushed? A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Vote: has 86.34 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, communication, wine
Q: Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches Long? A: Because if it will 12 inches then it will a foot.
Vote: has 82.86 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, life
Boy: "Our principal is so stupid!" Girl: "Don't you know who I am?" Boy: "No?" Girl: "I'm the principals daughter". Boy: "Do you know who I am?" Girl: "No." Boy: "Good." *walks away quickly*
Vote: has 82.31 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, management, school, stupid, vulgar
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing. He found her to be possessive and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence.
Vote: has 82.03 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, marriage
Q: What did the pencil say to the sharpener? A: Stop going in circles and get to the point.
Vote: has 81.77 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, life
Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy." Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman." Coincidence?
Vote: has 81.65 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bible, communication, women
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, " ;because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because Im responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work... The ass hole is usually in charge.
Vote: has 81.40 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, health, life, management, work
A lawyer has just settled down in his new office. So now, he is thinking what he can do to have clients. After a long time thinking, a man comes into the office. Right away, the lawyer decides to make his new plan take action. So he picks up the phone and says: "Unfortunately, Ms. Onassis, I cannot undertake your case right now. I am working full time, call me in a month to see if I can help you." He puts the phone down and says to the waiting man: "How can I help you sir?" "Nothing really, I am from telephone communications, I just came to connect your phone."
Vote: has 81.26 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, lawyer, office, phone, work
A man gets the words 'I love you' tattoed to his penis. He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says, "Don't try to put words into my mouth!"
Vote: has 81.19 % from 1040 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, love, wife