The best ugly jokes

A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
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has 83.40 % from 957 votes. More jokes about: fat, marriage, ugly
An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
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has 83.18 % from 607 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
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has 82.25 % from 7833 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
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has 81.25 % from 5321 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, college, Santa, ugly, Yo mama
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
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has 81.12 % from 338 votes. More jokes about: age, men, ugly
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.
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has 80.63 % from 791 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
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has 79.27 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: life, ugly
"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
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has 79.19 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
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has 79.17 % from 452 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kitty, ugly, Yo mama
"Siri, why am I still single?" Siri activates front camera.
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has 77.50 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: insulting, single, technology, ugly
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