The best ugly jokes

An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
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has 83.91 % from 682 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
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has 82.55 % from 977 votes. More jokes about: fat, marriage, ugly
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
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has 82.20 % from 7865 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
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has 81.29 % from 341 votes. More jokes about: age, men, ugly
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
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has 81.26 % from 5346 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, college, Santa, ugly, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.
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has 80.56 % from 799 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
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has 79.11 % from 461 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kitty, ugly, Yo mama
A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink. While waiting, he sees a guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a little tiny head. So, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body and a small head?" The guy replied, "I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her." "For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and POOF right there on the sand was $10,000,00." "For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and POOF right there on the ocean was a 90-foot yacht." "Finally for my third wish, I asked to have sex with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in that kind of activities." So, I said, "c'mon, how about a little head?"
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has 78.22 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: bar, genie, money, sex, ugly
"Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
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has 77.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
"Siri, why am I still single?" Siri activates front camera.
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has 76.91 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: insulting, single, technology, ugly
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