The best ugly jokes

A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
Vote: has 83.98 % from 886 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, marriage, ugly
An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
Vote: has 82.95 % from 548 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
Vote: has 82.44 % from 7361 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
Vote: has 81.41 % from 5010 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, college, Santa, ugly, Yo mama
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
Vote: has 80.83 % from 327 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, men, ugly
"Siri, why am I still single?" Siri activates front camera.
Vote: has 80.45 % from 62 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, single, technology, ugly
Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
Vote: has 79.96 % from 378 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, kitty, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama so ugly, people break into her house to close the curtains!
Vote: has 79.55 % from 158 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
Vote: has 79.35 % from 173 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Halloween, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.
Vote: has 79.08 % from 701 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama


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