The best ugly jokes

An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
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has 84.05 % from 742 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
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has 82.84 % from 1012 votes. More jokes about: fat, marriage, ugly
Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
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has 82.12 % from 7988 votes. More jokes about: insulting, ugly, Yo mama
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
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has 81.50 % from 351 votes. More jokes about: age, men, ugly
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
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has 81.16 % from 5425 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, college, Santa, ugly, Yo mama
A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink. While waiting, he sees a guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a little tiny head. So, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body and a small head?" The guy replied, "I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her." "For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and POOF right there on the sand was $10,000,00." "For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and POOF right there on the ocean was a 90-foot yacht." "Finally for my third wish, I asked to have sex with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in that kind of activities." So, I said, "c'mon, how about a little head?"
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has 81.11 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: bar, genie, money, sex, ugly
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.
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has 80.60 % from 828 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
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has 80.43 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: life, ugly
Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
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has 78.55 % from 489 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kitty, ugly, Yo mama
Roses are red, Violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo. Don't worry I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
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has 77.41 % from 242 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, poems, ugly
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