The best sport jokes

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" The husband said, "No sweetie." The woman said, "I'm sure you would." So the man said, "Okay, I would" Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so." Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."
Vote: has 86.08 % from 1721 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: golf, husband, marriage, sport, wife
A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice,the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he’s a weightlifter. The woman to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?” The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
Vote: has 86.06 % from 1666 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, bartender, blonde, sport
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
Vote: has 85.59 % from 1640 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?" "Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
Vote: has 85.05 % from 473 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, black humor, heaven, sport
Zeke: Why were the swimming elephants thrown out of the Olympics? Kyle: I haven't a clue. Zeke: Because they couldn't keep their trunks up!
Vote: has 85.03 % from 406 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: elephant, sport
I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."
Vote: has 84.51 % from 590 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, horse, sport
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Vote: has 83.42 % from 319 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, holiday, sport, travel
Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here." The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here." The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer." The others look confused and ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?" He proudly replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."
Vote: has 82.66 % from 279 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, dirty, sport
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world? A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
Vote: has 82.64 % from 285 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sport, women
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
Vote: has 82.31 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean, sport, wife


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