Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
How many lawyers dose it take to change a light bulb? 3, 1 to climb the ladder, 1 to shake it, and 1 to sue the ladder company.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black.
How did the black guy escape from jail? He unscrewed the light bulbs.
Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The lights out, how can u count them?
Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!