What did the light bulb say to the switch? You turn me on.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
How many lawyers dose it take to change a light bulb? 3, 1 to climb the ladder, 1 to shake it, and 1 to sue the ladder company.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "How many can you afford?"
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, but the lightbulb must really want to change.
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
Q: How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? A: Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.