By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead. And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?
Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's Day.
What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.