The best Fathers day jokes

By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead. And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.
Vote: has 84.80 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, death, Fathers day, life
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
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More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money, wedding
Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, money
Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?
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More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money
Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, work
Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, love
Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, party
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, men
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
Vote: has 68.66 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, sex, single
What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, Fathers day, holiday