By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father's Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he's dead. And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower - which means they are living but wish they were dead.
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.
Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's Day.
Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.