The best age jokes

An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"
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has 76.11 % from 302 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, masturbation, money, sex
You must keep in shape. My grandmother started walking five kilometers when she was 60 and now she's 97, and we don't have a clue where she is!
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: age, old people, travel
This older Jewish man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes Dad, what is it?" "Don’t be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife…"
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has 75.90 % from 376 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, doctor, jewish, life
One day a blonde came home from school and came to her mother and said, "Hey, Mommy! Mommy! Today in school we learned to count. The other kids could only count to three but I can count to Ten..... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" The mother responds, "Very good honey." The blonde asks, "Is that because I'm a blonde mommy?" And the mother responds, "Yes dear." Next day the blonde came home and went to her mother and said, "Today in school we learned our ABCs! The other kids could only get to D but I can get to K! .... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K!" The mother says, "Very good honey." The blonde then asked. "Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?" The mother responds, "Yes dear." The third day the blonde come home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy today in school we went swimming! But I was the only one who had breasts. Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?" And the mother responds, "No Honey, it's because you're twenty five."
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has 75.87 % from 344 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, math, school
Two old ladies are at the movies. "Psst," says one old lady. "I think the guy next to me is beating off." "What makes you say that?" "He's using my hand."
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has 75.79 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people
Q: What do you call a redneck virgin? A: A 7 year old that can run faster than her brothers.
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has 75.62 % from 327 votes. More jokes about: age, racist, redneck
Eleven year old’s environmental studies essay on the effect of oil pollution: "When my mum opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."
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has 75.48 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: age, death, school
Patient: "Doctor, do you think that I shall live until I am ninety?" Doctor: "How old are you now?" Patient: "40" Doctor: "Do you drink, gamble, smoke or do you have any other vice?" Patient: "No. I don’t drink. I don’t gamble. I don’t smoke. I have no vice." Doctor: "Then why do you want to live for another fifty years?"
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has 75.38 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, doctor, game, life
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa’s lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa. "Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl. "Yes, He did, and that wasn’t too long ago," answers her grandpa. "Boy," says the little girl, "He’s sure doing a lot better job these days isn’t He?"
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: age, god, kids
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sport