The best age jokes

An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, animal, couple, disgusting, old people
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
Vote: has 68.38 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, life, prison, women
"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
Vote: has 68.26 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, birthday, dad, kids, sex
A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while he was bathing. "Mom", he asked, "is that my brain?" "Not yet", she answered.
Vote: has 67.89 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids
An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. The old man asks, "Why are you going to sleep on the floor?" The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change."
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, couple, old people
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, age, husband, kids, wife
You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, christian, insulting, school
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, birthday, fat, marriage
Q: What do you call a redneck virgin? A: A 7 year old that can run faster than her brothers.
Vote: has 67.77 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, racist, redneck