The best college jokes

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.
Vote: has 71.20 % from 134 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, college, kids, marriage, wife
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: “What is the usual tip?” “Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.” “Is that so?” snorted Larry. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.” “Thanks,” replied the youth, “I’ll put this in my school fund.” “What are you studying in school?” asked Larry. The lad smiled and said: “Applied psychology.”
Vote: has 69.58 % from 203 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: college, money, school
Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A: A Basketball player.
Vote: has 66.79 % from 725 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, college, school, sport
A college economics professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his student. "And who is known as the father of modern economics?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Wilson, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
Vote: has 65.00 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: college, school, student, teacher
Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: college, religious, terrorist, time
There were three guys at a bar. One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker. The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said. So the buisness man said "That's nice, for my last aniversary I got my wife a Mercades and a new mansion, if she didn't like the mercades she has to like the new mansion. " As the biker finished his drink he said "For my last aniversary I got my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. If she didn't like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself."
Vote: has 58.58 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, business, college, school, student
In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love. In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, college, drunk, love, school
Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? A: "Would you like fries with that?"
Vote: has 54.46 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, college, communication, food
A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
Vote: has 54.06 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, college, marriage, math, wife
Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college. Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too. Mother: Yes you do. Peter: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!
Vote: has 51.70 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, college, school