The best college jokes

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."
Vote: has 72.95 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: college, graduation, management, stupid, work
Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.
Vote: has 72.26 % from 90 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: college, religious, terrorist, time
Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.
Vote: has 70.28 % from 141 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, college, kids, marriage, wife
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: “What is the usual tip?” “Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.” “Is that so?” snorted Larry. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.” “Thanks,” replied the youth, “I’ll put this in my school fund.” “What are you studying in school?” asked Larry. The lad smiled and said: “Applied psychology.”
Vote: has 70.01 % from 206 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: college, money, school
Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A: A Basketball player.
Vote: has 66.51 % from 750 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, college, school, sport
A college economics professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his student. "And who is known as the father of modern economics?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Wilson, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
Vote: has 66.18 % from 83 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: college, school, student, teacher
You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: college, life
There were three guys at a bar. One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker. The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said. So the buisness man said "That's nice, for my last aniversary I got my wife a Mercades and a new mansion, if she didn't like the mercades she has to like the new mansion. " As the biker finished his drink he said "For my last aniversary I got my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. If she didn't like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself."
Vote: has 60.69 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, business, college, school, student
A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
Vote: has 55.71 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, college, marriage, math, wife
Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? A: "Would you like fries with that?"
Vote: has 55.13 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, college, communication, food


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