The best college jokes

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: “What is the usual tip?” “Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.” “Is that so?” snorted Larry. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.” “Thanks,” replied the youth, “I’ll put this in my school fund.” “What are you studying in school?” asked Larry. The lad smiled and said: “Applied psychology.”
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has 71.60 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: college, money, school
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."
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has 71.16 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: college, graduation, management, stupid, work
Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.
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has 71.09 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: baby, college, kids, marriage, wife
A guy and a girl are roommates in college. The girl goes to a frat party, brings home another guy, fucks him, and then decides the next morning that she likes her roommate and therefore it's not going to work out. After her fling left, her roommate came up to her and: Him: "I think I found my soulmate in you..." Her: "Really?!" Him: "Yeah... uh... that guy you brought home last night?" Her: "Oh yeah. I don't care about him anymore." Him: "Great! So he's available?"
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: college, communication, gay, love, mean
Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.
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has 68.62 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: college, religious, terrorist, time
A college economics professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his student. "And who is known as the father of modern economics?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Wilson, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
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has 67.46 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: college, school, student, teacher
You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: college, life
There were three guys at a bar. One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker. The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said. So the buisness man said "That's nice, for my last aniversary I got my wife a Mercades and a new mansion, if she didn't like the mercades she has to like the new mansion. " As the biker finished his drink he said "For my last aniversary I got my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. If she didn't like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself."
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: bar, business, college, school, student
Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A: A Basketball player.
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has 64.05 % from 799 votes. More jokes about: black people, college, school, sport
Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were eager to know how it had ended so quickly. The general told them, "We had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was made entirely of lawyers and accountants. When the time came to charge - boy, did they know how to charge!"
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: accountant, college, ethnic, money, war
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