Joke #12029

Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.
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has 61.80 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: college, religious, terrorist, time

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A student was lucky to find a decent accommodation with a cheap rent. His colleagues came to visit him and he was showing them the house. "This is the kitchen. This is the bedroom. And this one is the living room ... " "And what are this hammer and this pot that are hanging on the wall for? What are you going to do with them?" one of his colleagues asked. "This is a talking clock." "I have never seen a clock like that. Can you show me how it works?" "Sure. Look," the student said. He took the hammer and struck at the pot with all his strength. Then a voice was heard from the other side, "What you are doing? Are you crazy? It is half past one in the night, you idiot!"
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has 81.30 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: college, life, student, time
A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" "You mean J.C?", responds the alien. "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!" The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" The pope retorts "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?" The alien says "Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. Why? What did you guys do?"
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has 78.46 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, christian, communication, religious, time
A deer hunter asked his Pastor if it was a sin to hunt on Sunday. "From what I hear about your aim," said the Pastor, "It's a sin for you to hunt anytime."
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has 70.83 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: death, hunting, priest, religious, time
Q: What's a terrorist's favorite day in November? A: Bomb fire night.
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Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
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has 63.75 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
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has 62.74 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, catholic, religious, time
A Muslim safely departs from a plane.
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has 49.96 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: religious, terrorist, travel
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, money, religious, time
The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
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has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: life, political, religious, time