The best duck jokes

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner. Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck. The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up. Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in. "Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."
Vote:
has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: communication, duck, food, political
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. "I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
Vote:
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, money
Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly. The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him. Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is...fluctuation." The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"
Vote:
has 36.41 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: duck, little Johnny, student, teacher
What do ducks wear to party's? A duck-sedo!
Vote:
has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, party
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
Vote:
has 24.15 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, money
Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn? A: To buy some quack.
Vote:
has 17.55 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck