The best duck jokes

If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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has 58.18 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck
Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework? A: A firequaker!
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: bird, duck
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck
If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
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has 54.77 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drug, duck, weed
A guy walks into a quiet bar carrying three ducks-one in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar, has a few drinks, and chats with the bartender. The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. He and the guy chat for about 30 minutes before the guy has to go to the restroom. Now, the bartender is alone with the ducks. After an awkward silence, he decides to try to make conversation. "What's your name?" he says to one of the ducks. "Huey," answers the first duck. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day." "Oh, that's nice," says the bartender. Then he says to the second duck, "And what's your name?". "Dewey," comes the answer. "So how's your day been, Dewey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance, I would do it all again." So the bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie." "No," growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles. And don't ask about my day."
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, duck
Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: duck, money, Yo mama
Q: What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do? A: Stick his bill up his ass.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: duck, lawyer
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, teen
Q: What kind of doctor does a duck visit? A: A Ducktor.
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: doctor, duck
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, duck
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