The best horse jokes

Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?" A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?" "No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, cowboy, dirty, disgusting, horse
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, horse
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?" To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips." Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?" "No, but it stops me from licking them!"
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, cowboy, disgusting, horse, women
Q: If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday, how does he do it? A: The horse's name is Friday!
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cowboy, horse, time
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: horse, internet, single, women
Old Farmer Peter was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Peter: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Peter: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
Vote: has 53.58 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, horse, marriage, wife
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, horse
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousn ess or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, horse, time
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted, without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager, runs out to unplug the horse.
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, customer service, horse
Q: What do gay horses eat? A: Hay.
Vote: has 41.83 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, gay, horse


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