Q: What do gay horses eat?
A: Hay.
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Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise.
A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.
First came one of the straight guys and his wife.
St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much.
You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."
Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much.
You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"
The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."
A guy arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find his lover in bed with a young, handsome boy.
Just as he was about to storm out of the house, his lover stopped him with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about:"
"Driving home, I saw this young guy, looking poor and tired, I offered him a ride.
He was hungry, so I brought him home and fed him some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.
His shoes were worn out so I gave him a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style.
He was cold so I gave him that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you.
His trousers were worn out so I gave him a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.
Then as he was about to leave the house, he paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your lover doesn't use anymore?'
"And so, here we are!"
Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi.
Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge?
A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.
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Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face.
I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."
I think my sons gay...I took off the seat of his bike, and he didn't notice.
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
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Q: Which is better, being born black or gay?
A: Black, because you don't have to tell your parents.
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When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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