Joke #10328

Three men were using the urinals in a public restroom in DC. The first man finished relieving himself, zipped up, strolled to the sinks and proceeded to wash his hands, using plenty of soap and water and doing a splendidly thorough job. As he was drying his hands (with lots of paper towels), he loftily announced to no one in particular "At Harvard, I learned to be clean and sanitary."  The second gent zipped up, marched briskly to the sinks, and scrubbed his hands with much less soap and water than the first man, doing a splendidly thorough job nonetheless. As he was drying his hands (with only one paper towel), he severely announced to no one in particular, "At Yale, I learned to be clean and sanitary, but I ALSO learned to be thrifty and environmentally conscious."  The third man finished relieving himself, zipped up, and ambled past the sinks to the door, muttering to himself, "In kindergarten, I learned not to piss on my hands."

There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks. No one finished it. Why? Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick. It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!

What did the music teacher need a ladder for? To reach the top notes.

Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school? A: The "elf"-abet!

Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school? Josh: I don’t know. Why? Chad: They’re good at trick questions.

Teacher: Ramu, give me a sentence starting with " I ". Ramu: I is... Teacher: No, Ramu. Always say, "I am." Ramu: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Q: What do you call a blonde sitting in the back of your 6th grade class? A: your 25 year old mom.

Teacher: Now, Ramu, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Ramu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Little Johnny was at school one day, when he noticed that there was a large crowd of kids gathered around Little Billy. Little Johnny walks up to Little Billy and says "Hey what's all the excitement about", Little Billy says "Just showing everyone my new watch". Little Johnny goes "Wow, that's a cool watch where did you get it?" Little Billy says "Well, I walked in on my mom and dad having sex over the weekend, and my dad was so mad he gave me spanking and sent me to my room". The next day, he feel guilty about what he had done and went and bought me this cool Watch. This gives Little Johnny a good idea. Later that night, when Little Johnny was sent to bed, he stayed up listening and waiting for his mom and dad to go to bed. Once he starts hearing noises coming from their room he runs down the hall, throws their bedroom door open, and yells "I want a watch!" His dad looks over to Johnny and says "Well okay, but sit in the corner and be quiet!"

Billy and Willy were at Sunday school studying about Noah’s ark. On the way home, Willy asked, “Do you think Noah did much fishing?” “How could he?” said Billy. “He only had two worms”. The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student’s neighbor, “Hey wake that student up!” The neighbor yells back, “You put him to sleep, you wake him up!”

Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A: A Basketball player.