Where do bees keep their money? In a honey box.
The lawyer’s motto: a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday. Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.
Why do Jews watch porn backwards? Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.
Yo mama so poor when I ring her buzzer she says, "bzzzzzzzzz."
There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
A kindergarten teacher spent a few minutes each morning teaching a new word to her class. She would tell the class the word and its meaning, then ask them to come up with a few sentences that included the word for the day. One day, the teacher said that the word for the day was "frugal." She explained that frugal had to do with saving, and a frugal person is one who saves. She then asked the class to come up with a sentence for the word. The class seemed kind of stumped, and sat there in silence for a few seconds until one little girl raised her hand. Instead of just a sentence, she came up with a little story: "There once was a princess who was stuck in a tall tower. There was a spell on all of the doors, so she couldn’t get out. One day, she heard a young prince who was walking by and singing. The princess called out of the tower, 'Frugal me! Frugal me!' So, the prince frugaled her and they lived happily ever after."
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "How many can you afford?"
He was so mean he had the house sound-proofed so the children wouldn’t be able to hear the ice cream van.
How do you find the population of a Mexican village? Roll a quarter down the street.r