Joke #11012

I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying "Fireworks". How right they were.
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More jokes about: black humor

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The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
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How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
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Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
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More jokes about: black humor, kids
Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say?,” asked the nurse. “OOPS!”
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More jokes about: black humor, doctor, hospital
Q: How do you get a black out of a tree? A: Cut the rope.
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More jokes about: black humor, black people
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
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More jokes about: black humor, health, military, party, war
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.
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More jokes about: baby, black humor
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: - Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: - Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. - But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: - I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. - But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. - Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
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More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, time
Granny congratulates Johny to his birthday and tells him: "May you live so many years, how many steps you made to the church during these years!" Suddenly appears the Death and tells Johny: "Have you heard your Granny's wish? So, pack up your suitcases, tomorrow you'll finally go with me, mac! Those 4 steps will not save ya!"
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More jokes about: birthday, black humor, death, little Johnny, time
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?" "I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding." "You got a silver compact and a red pickup?" "The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck." The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom." "I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls." The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot." "I don't care! Just do it!" The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"
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More jokes about: black humor, golf, money, teen