Joke #11203

Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food

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An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father." The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed" At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house. A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."
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has 85.57 % from 5002 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, food, love
A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle. When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish. The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made. The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow. The diner agrees. The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish. When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small. He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies: "Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins".
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has 80.23 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, travel
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
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has 74.68 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, food, relationship
Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. "I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one. "That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
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has 71.05 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
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has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don't like your friend." The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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has 69.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, love, men
Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals? A: He went down really well!
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has 69.30 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?” “Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.” “Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
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has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food, health, hospital
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
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has 68.15 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health