Joke #11207

Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Vote: has 86.14 % from 653 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!" In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed! One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them. " The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."
Vote: has 85.58 % from 762 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cop, death, time
A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as preagreed. He asks the veterinarian: Is my cat still alive? Still not...
Vote: has 85.55 % from 3151 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, death
One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate. "Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked. "My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied. "That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your cat!"
Vote: has 85.54 % from 931 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, little Johnny
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher.. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for ill*gally grown dr*gs." The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land.. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? " The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis Bull... With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs... "Your badge... Show him your badge!"
Vote: has 85.41 % from 208 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cop, drug, life
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Vote: has 85.23 % from 1034 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, travel
While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
Vote: has 84.99 % from 405 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? A: Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say: "Bach, Bach, Bach."
Vote: has 84.78 % from 153 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, music
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Vote: has 84.77 % from 1371 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question. "If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?" After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet." They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her. Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her. Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun." The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?" The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"
Vote: has 84.67 % from 353 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, death, ginger, life, travel