Joke #11273

Little Johnny asks his mum, "Mum, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time in a faraway land'?"  "No darling," says his mother, somewhat distressed, "Sometimes, they can begin with 'I've got too much work in the office tonight, I'll come home later'."
Vote: has 57.73 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, work

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."
Vote: has 83.10 % from 636 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, work
"Mommy," Little Johnny asked, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'?" "No, dear," she replied. "Sometimes they start with 'Darling, I'll be working late at the office tonight...'"
Vote: has 73.52 % from 251 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, office, work
During a conversation regarding new potential Johny's job: "Johny, tell us and what is your weak feature?" Johny: "Openness!" Interviewer: "But the openness isn't a weak feature!" Johny: "Ok, but I fuck what you think!"
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, little Johnny, vulgar, work
Little Johnny had just returned from his summer break and gone back to school. Three days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Hold on," she said. "I had Johnny with me for the entire summer and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
Vote: has 24.38 % from 276 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, phone, school, teacher
Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, doctor, family, work
If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: graduation, life, school, work
Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job? A: Because it was soda pressing.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: office, work
A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?" "Heaven! Heaven!" Yelled Little Lisa. "And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest. "Dead!" Yelled Little Johnny.
Vote: has 84.76 % from 939 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, heaven, kids, little Johnny, priest
A builder was once building a fence to surround a farmer's sheep. The builder finished, and the farmer was ready to pay. The builder then came up to the farmer and said: "Sir, I hope this isn't too a-fenc-ive.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, money, work
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow alcohol. 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care. 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 11. It makes fellow employees look better. 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
Vote: has 62.93 % from 69 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, holiday, money, winter, work