Joke #11359

Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, customer service, food, tax

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, elf, family, food
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, food, Santa
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, food, husband, new year, women
A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. He then asks her how she spells straw as in strawberry. She says, S-T-R-A-W He then asks her how she spells fuck as in chocolate. After a while she says there is no fuck in chocolate. THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, customer service, food
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Vote: has 47.48 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
Your theeth are so yellow when you opend the popcorn packet it said "We are family."
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, food, insulting
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, priest
Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less? A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: republican, tax, time
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Vote: has 59.77 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart
A blonde walks into a electronic store and asks the manager, “Can I buy that TV” “No” “Why not?” “Because your a blonde.” So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red. She returned to the electronic store and said, “Can I buy that TV?” “No” “Why not?” “Your a blonde.” So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, “Can I buy that TV?” “No” “Why not?” “You’re a blonde” “How can you tell I’m a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then shaved it off!” “Because that’s not a TV, that’s a microwave!”
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, customer service, technology