Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it's Halloween!
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I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight.
It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels.
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.
Sincerely, Michael Myers
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Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke.
The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
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Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help.
They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning.
The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore.
Bush asks the boys how he can repay them.
The first boy says, "I want a boat."
The second boy says, "I want a truck."
The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone."
Bush asks, "Why is that?"
The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
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I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
Why do women make better soldiers?
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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