Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it's Halloween!
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I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight.
It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels.
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake.
Sincerely, Michael Myers
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Two monsters went to a Halloween party.
Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"
The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
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You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
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Death has a shadow... Chuck Norris
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I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.
The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
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Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring.
One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it.
"My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!
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