Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?
Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's Day.
Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.
Which is the most confusing day in America? Father's day! 80% don't know whom to wish. Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. "Mother of six," he would say, "what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!" She gets very frustrated. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife immediately shouts back, "I'll be right with you, father of four!"
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.