Joke #11605

Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: pirate, student, time

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A student was lucky to find a decent accommodation with a cheap rent. His colleagues came to visit him and he was showing them the house. "This is the kitchen. This is the bedroom. And this one is the living room ... " "And what are this hammer and this pot that are hanging on the wall for? What are you going to do with them?" one of his colleagues asked. "This is a talking clock." "I have never seen a clock like that. Can you show me how it works?" "Sure. Look," the student said. He took the hammer and struck at the pot with all his strength. Then a voice was heard from the other side, "What you are doing? Are you crazy? It is half past one in the night, you idiot!"
Vote: has 79.35 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: college, life, student, time
You could give me 37 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, student, time, work
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: graduation, memory, student, time, work
Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, student, teacher, time
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
Vote: has 40.67 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, student, teacher, technology, time
What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, marriage, money, time
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox." "Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too." "That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?" "No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, sport, student, teacher
Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly. The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him. Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is...fluctuation." The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"
Vote: has 40.54 % from 128 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: duck, little Johnny, student, teacher
Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: pirate, sport
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, time