Q: Where do suicide bombers go after they die? A: Everywhere!
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner. "Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile." The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?" "Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning." "Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having his picture taken.
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
Roses are red tulips are black. You'd look great with a knife in your back.
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Q: Where did OP go in the explosion? A: Everywhere.
Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.