Q: Where do cowboys cook their meals?
A: On the range.
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What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A Saddle Light Dish.
Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
"Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly.
The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post.
He saddled up and started to ride out of town.
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy.
The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.
"Ever have an accident?"
"Nope, nary a one."
"None? You've never had any accidents."
"Nope. Ain't had one. Never."
"Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?"
"Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza?
Pizzeria!
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Your Momma is like Burger King "Have it Your Way".
Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache?
A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
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Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk."
Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day?
He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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