Q: Where do cowboys cook their meals?
A: On the range.
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What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A Saddle Light Dish.
What is the definition of "derange"?
De place where de cowboys ride.
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
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What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner?
Cow chow.
Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.
Q: If Nuts on your chest are Chestnuts and Nuts on a wall are Walnuts. What are Nuts on your chin called?
A: A Cock in the mouth!
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Q: What did the cowboy maggot say when he went into the saloon bar?
A: Gimme a slug of whiskey.
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up.
He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum.
Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?"
To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips."
Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?"
"No, but it stops me from licking them!"
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.
One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up.
"Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."