Joke #11793

Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, friendship, women

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An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
Vote: has 83.42 % from 419 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you." The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."
Vote: has 73.80 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, fat, music, women
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
Vote: has 68.12 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, marriage, men, women
A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, doctor, fat, food, women
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, friendship, nerd, women
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you call a blonde chick standing on her head? A: A brunette.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, friendship, mean
"Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearing tights!"
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama