Joke #11793

Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: fat, friendship, women

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An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
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has 83.43 % from 785 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?" That's about as far as I remember.
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has 81.83 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, women
Me: I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes. Friend: How? Me: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.
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has 79.71 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, friendship
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you." The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."
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has 73.25 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: bar, fat, music, women
3 things which change women: 1) I love U 2) I liquidated to your account 3) U have lost weight The last one had been some fatalities!
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has 72.39 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: fat, life, love, money, women
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
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has 70.45 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, fat, food, women
My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, mean, wife, women
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
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has 61.35 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, friendship, nerd, women
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
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has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: fat, marriage, men, women