Joke #11793

Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
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More jokes about: fat, friendship, women

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An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
Vote: has 82.92 % from 547 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
3 things which change women: 1) I love U 2) I liquidated to your account 3) U have lost weight The last one had been some fatalities!
Vote: has 77.74 % from 87 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, life, love, money, women
My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, insulting, mean, wife, women
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you." The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."
Vote: has 72.79 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, fat, music, women
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!" "Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive." "I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?" "Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are." "I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!" "Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
Vote: has 70.06 % from 106 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, husband, sex, ugly, women
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, marriage, men, women
A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
Vote: has 57.17 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, friendship, nerd, women
Three men stranded on an island. They were walking across the sand when they came across a magic lamp; they rubbed the lamp and out came a genie. The genie said "you have three wishes but make it quick." So they thought about what they were going to wish for. The one man said, "I wish I was at home with my family." So the genie said your wish is my command, and he was gone, then the second man said "I wish I was in the pub with my mates." So he was gone. The last man said, "I am lonely and I want my friends back."
Vote: has 47.24 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
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I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, travel, women