Joke #1187

What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Vote:
has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy.  "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."  Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon." "Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"  The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
Vote:
has 81.30 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, life, men, women
A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
Vote:
has 75.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, drunk, men, wife
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
Vote:
has 73.29 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dirty, fish
One day, a guy decides to go ice fishing. He gets out onto the ice and starts making a hole with his ice augur. Suddenly he hears a booming voice say "there's no fish there!" He looks around startled but doesn't see anyone. He packs up and moves to another spot and starts working on a new hole. Again he hears the booming voice "there's no fish there!" He moves again and starts making a new hole and hears the voice again. "There's no fish there!" it booms. He looks up nervously. "G-G-God? I-I-Is that... you?" he asks. "No, it's the arena manager. Get the fuck out of here!"
Vote:
has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, god, management, vulgar
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.
Vote:
has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned: "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied: "That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
Vote:
has 71.39 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, death, fish, little Johnny
A man had a party where all the rich people attend. And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes. But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive. So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?" The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
Vote:
has 71.29 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, men, party
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Vote:
has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men, time
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.
Vote:
has 69.36 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, time
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
Vote:
has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, men