Joke #11873

An accountant and a lawyer were laying on a beach in Hawaii sipping mai tai's. The lawyer started telling the accountant how he came to be there. "I had this downtown property in Memphis that caught fire and after the insurance paid off, I came here." The accountant said, "I had a downtown property, too, in Miami. It got flooded so here I am with the insurance proceeds." The lawyer took another sip of his mai tai, and then asked in a puzzled voice, "How do you start a flood?"
Vote: has 77.03 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, geography, lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A businessman was interviewing job applications for the position of manager of a large division. He quickly devised a test for choosing the most suitable candidate. He simply asked each applicant this question, "What is two plus two?" The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was, "Twenty-two". The second was a social worker. She said, "I don't know the answer but I'm very glad that we had the opportunity to discuss it." The third applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and came up with an answer "somewhere between 3.999 and 4.001." Next came an attorney. He stated that "in the case of Jenkins vs. the Department of the Treasury, two plus two was proven to be four." Finally, the businessman interviewed an accountant. When he asked him what two plus two was, the accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door, closed it, came back and sat down. Leaning across the desk, he said in a low voice, "How much do you want it to be?" He got the job.
Vote: has 80.44 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, business, lawyer, management, work
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don’t know what you are talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn’t know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my damn money is!" The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!" The Godfather says, "Well... what did he say?" The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says…go to hell... that you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger."
Vote: has 75.60 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, lawyer, money
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, lawyer
An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, doctor, geography, mean
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps? A: New Jersey got first pick.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geography, lawyer, mean
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, geography, money, Santa, tax
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
Vote: has 54.06 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geography, life, republican
Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant? A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, communication, tax
Teacher:Maria please point to America on the map. Maria:This is it. Teacher:Well done. Now class, who found America? Class:Maria did.
Vote: has 80.71 % from 359 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geography, school, teacher
Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer