Joke #11980

Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat? A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: democrat, money, political, tax

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Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!" "In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!"
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has 85.59 % from 376 votes. More jokes about: money, political
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.
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has 85.14 % from 601 votes. More jokes about: god, money, political, tax
The Democrats have a lot of contenders for the presidential election in 2020. This includes Anthony Weiner and Eric Holder - we are already seeing bumper stickers that say "WEINER HOLDER 2020".
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has 84.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: democrat, political, time
The pentagon said they had too many generals running around, so they decided to get rid of some of them. They offered $10,000 in severance pay for each inch of their body to be measured however they chose. The Air Force general went first. He said he wanted to be measured from his head to his toe. He was 69 inches. He received $690,000. Next up was the Army general. He wanted to be measured from the tip of his finger to the tip of his other finger. It was 80 inches. He received $800,000. The two generals were very happy with their earnings. Finally the Marine general came up. He said he wanted to be measured from the tip of his d**k to the tip of his balls. The man said, "Sir, do you know how much the other generals received?" The general said no. "Sir, they received $690,000 and $800,000 respectively, are you sure that is what you want measured?" The general said, "Just do it!" The man dropped the general's pants and measured his d**k. When he went for the general's balls, they weren't there. The man said, "Sir, where are your balls." The general said, "I left them back in Vietnam."
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has 83.78 % from 250 votes. More jokes about: air force, military, money, political
Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.
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has 79.57 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, tax
Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: democrat, food, money, political
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t heard the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.” “Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”
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has 77.66 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, political
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, tax, work
Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: death, political, tax, time
How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
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has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, tax