Joke #12007

The winner of tonight's election is the Voyager space probe which is currently traveling at 62,137 km per hour away from the Earth into interstellar space.
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has 74.89 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: political, travel

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One day Dick Cheney, George Bush and Laura Bush were in a private jet going to France. Then, George Bush said, " If i throw this hundred dollar bill off this jet I'll make one person happy!" Then Dick Cheney said, " Man if i throw ten, ten dollar bills down, I'll make ten people happy!" Then Laura Bush said, " If I throw one hundred one dollar bills off this jet I'll make a hundred people happy." Then the pilot said, " Man, if I throw these 3 losers outta this jet, I'll make six billion people happy."
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has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, political, travel
Two politician are having lunch together, all of a sudden one stood up and shouted, "Your lying." The other replied, "I know but just hear me out."
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life, political
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I dont, Ive been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, Ive been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
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has 18.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: business, money, travel
We should've known communism would fail. There were a lot of red flags.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: political, time
Two communists were sitting in a dive bar when one said to the other: "Communism is the ultimate expression of generosity." "True," the other replied. "If you had two houses, would you give me one?" "Absolutely." "And if you had two cars, would you give me one?" the first communist asked. "Without hesitation," the second communist replied. "And chickens. If you had two chickens, would you give me one?" The second communist thought about the question for a few moments before answering. "No," he said. "Why not?" "Because I have two chickens."
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has 83.96 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: life, political
Q: why did the cow cross the road? A: So he could pass the milkyway.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, travel
NASA is negotiating with Chuck Norris about using his roundhouse kick as a propulsion to get to Mars.
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has 64.26 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?" The husband laughs and says: "An English girl!" The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?" "Very good, thank you," replies the wife. "And, what happened to my present?" "Which present?" "I asked for, the English girl?" "Oh, that! Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if its a girl!"
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has 69.99 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, travel, wife
Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so. He remind him of Trivette...
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political