Joke #12072

Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels!
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has 67.52 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: fart

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Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
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has 66.88 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: communication, fart, marriage, mean, sex
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
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has 32.98 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, fart, women
When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me. First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her. Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
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has 70.71 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, fart, love
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, fart
This man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies that he used the "F-word" over the weekend. The priest says, "Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language." The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-word". The priest sighs and tells him to continue. Well father I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church. The priest says, "And you got upset over that and swore?" The man replied, "No, that wasn't why I swore. On the first tee I duck-hooked my drive well left into the trees." The priest said, "And that's when you swore." The man replied, a little testily because of the constant interruptions, "No, it wasn't. When I walked up the fairway, I noticed my ball got a lucky bounce and I had a clear shot to the green. However, before I could hit the ball, a squirrel ran by and grabbed my ball and scurried up a tree." The priest asked, "Is that when you said the 'F-word'?" The man replied, "No, because an eagle then flew by and caught the squirrel in its sharp talons and flew away." The priest let out a breath and queried, "Is that when you swore?" The man replied, "No, because the eagle flew over the green and the dying squirrel let go of my golf ball and it landed within 5 inches of the hole." The priest screamed, "Don't tell me you missed the f...ing putt!"
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has 80.63 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: church, fart, golf, life, priest
A wife and her husband were sleeping, in the middle of the night, the husband farted. Next morning the guy told his wife: "Last night I dreamed that I've bought a Mercedes!" His wife said: "That is right and you tootled for me."
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has 85.76 % from 749 votes. More jokes about: car, fart, marriage
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: car, fart, travel, Yo mama
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, gay, sex
Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: dad, disgusting, fart
Q: What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar? A: A love call.
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has 25.31 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: fart, gay, love