Q: What did the fire monster that was slayed by the water monster say?
A: "You're cold."
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A husband is driving with her blonde wife, the husband says "Can you stick your head out the window if the blinker works?" T
hen the blonde sticks her head out the window and replies, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..".
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This guy from up north just up and one day moved down south to start himself a farm.
He came across this man and asked him where he could get a good donkey to pull a cart and plow.
The man said I've got just what you need.
Only thing is down here we don't call them donkeys we call them an ass.
He said when this ass stops you'll have to get off the cart and slap them to get it going again.
The northern man thanks him and heads on his way.
He comes up to a man seeking chickens.
He says to the man, I'd like to buy a rooster and a hen.
The guy sai d sure thing but down here we don't call em roosters and hens.
We call them a cock and a pullet.
The man from up north says ok, thanks the man and is on his way.
He going along in his cart when his donkey stops in the middle of the road.
He remembers what the man said he had to do to get it going.
Just then a lady is walking by.
So he walks up to her and says, "excuse me miss, but will you hold my cock and pullet while I slap my ass."
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Q: What do you call a fried potato in your pants?
A: Dick-tator.
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The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes.
St. Peter: "What do you want? "
Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus."
St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
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Little Johnny comes home from school, and his mom asks: "Johnny, how did it go with your exam? Was written or oral?"
And Johnny says: "Mom, I think it was anal... 'Cuz it went like shit!"
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Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.
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Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex?
A: freak.
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Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?"
Mom: "Because he never lies."
Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "Hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "Yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
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I haven't spoken to the mother in law for 6 months now... apparently, it's rude to interrupt!
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