Joke #12336

Q: What's the difference between a book and a teacher? A: You can shut a book up but you can't shut a teacher up.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: teacher, vulgar

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During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide. Teacher tries to make a joke: "Johnny, don't swallow me." He replies: "Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork."
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has 79.81 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, little Johnny, teacher, vulgar
One day the teacher was asking the class about there weekends. She asked sue, "how was your weekend?" "Good." Then little Johnny waved his hand "me, me, me." Finally giving in said, "what did you do this weekend?" "I rode in my wagon pulled by my dog and hit a steep hill. The wagon started going faster than the dog and the handle went up his ass." "Rectum is the word you're looking for," she says. "Rectum," said Johnny, "da man near killed him."
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has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: communication, dog, little Johnny, teacher, vulgar
Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch!" Johnny shouted his mother "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords." But, Mom, replied the boy, "That's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it." Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain. "Oh, heavens" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four."
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has 72.35 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, vulgar
Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?" Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1." Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit." Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead." Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
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has 69.66 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, kids, teacher, vulgar
Teacher: "Who can tell a story?" Little Johnny: "Our maid's ass." Teacher: "Why?" Little Johnny: "Last night daddy touched her ass and was whispering: 'A wonderful story.'"
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has 68.90 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, vulgar
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?" The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: math, money, student, teacher, vulgar
Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested? A: For fingering a minor.
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has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: music, prison, teacher, vulgar
The Teacher asked Little Johnny, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?" Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."
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has 75.89 % from 272 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, little Johnny, teacher
Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.
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has 83.78 % from 340 votes. More jokes about: life, sex, vulgar
Little Johnny asks the teacher, "Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven't done?" Mrs Roberts is shocked, "Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!" Little Johnny is relieved, "OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven't done my homework."
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has 82.75 % from 287 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher