Man comes home from work to find his boyfriend whacking off into a condom. Man says, "WTF?" Boyfriend says, "I am making you a sack lunch!"
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.
Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
Q: How do 5 gay men walk? A: One Direction!
"Does she have a boyfriend?" "Yes, a cute, strong and clever one." "What's the name?" "John, Michael and Bill."
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
"I'm sorry for throwing red wine over all your dresses in the wardrobe last night," I told my girlfriend. "I've spent all day getting the stains out just to show how much you mean to me." "Oh, that's really nice," she said. "What did you use to remove the stains?" "Scissors," I replied.
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church? A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
A girlfriend said to me during sex that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!