Joke #12476

Q: Why don't you ask Yoda for money? A: He is always a little to short.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, communication, money

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English Class Teacher: "One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?" Student: "Future impossible tense."
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has 83.13 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: communication, money, school, student, teacher
Wife: "Give me some money. I want to buy a bra." Husband: "Why? You have nothing to put in it!" Wife: "You wear shorts!"
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has 82.60 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, marriage, mean, money
Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed." Guest: "I'll make my own bed." Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
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has 82.29 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work
Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV? A: The Dallas Cowboys.
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has 79.74 % from 336 votes. More jokes about: communication, cowboy, football, money, sport
An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, "I am Stephen King , the best selling author of my time... My millions of fans need me , and i can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the planernThe 2nd passenger , Barack Hussein Obama, said , "I am the 44th President of the United States, and I am the smartest President in American history , so my people don't want me to die." He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.rnThe 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My son , I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The little boy said , "That's okay , Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America's smartest President took my schoolbag."
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has 77.94 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, money, stupid, time
Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents. Friend: That's Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?
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has 76.67 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, money, music
One day a priest told the Mother Superior that he was going into town and try to convert some ladies of the evening. Later off he went and drove to a certain part of town known for the ladies of the evening. The first one he approached asked him before he had a chance to say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10" He was clueless and embarrassed and left quickly. He approached another young woman and again before he could say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10?" Again he left quickly and returned to the convent. Once back he saw Mother Superior and quietly took him aside and whispered Mother Superior "what's head?" She replied "$10.00 same as in town."
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has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, money, priest, sex
I and my two mates went to a hooker and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch. My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner! My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50! I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.! "What do you mean," they asked me. "I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."
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has 74.15 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, money, sex, time
I bought a lottery ticket. My son asked me: "Dady if your ticket wins $100,000 what will you do?" I replied: "A travel to Europe, drink best and most expensive wines, making sex by the most beautiful actress and so on." He again asked: "If unfortunately, your ticket didn't win what would be your action?" I angrily gazed him then I told him: "I don't move here, drink some booze and beer; fuck your mother."
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has 73.28 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, money, travel, vulgar
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, mean, money, religious