Joke #12519

Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant? A: She sneezes.
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, health, stupid

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A marine general, an army general, and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!" The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?" The general says, "See that man over there? Kill him!" Without hesitating, the private kills the man. The general says, "See? That man has balls!" The marine general says, "That's nothing. Private, get over here!" The marine private reports, "Yes, sir?". The marine general says, "See that man over there? Kill him and then kill yourself." Without blinking, the marine private pulls out his M-16 and blows away the guy, then turns the rifle on himself and unloads several rounds. The marine general says, "See? Now that man has balls!" The admiral says, "That's nothing." He calls to a seaman high up on a tower, "Hey, seaman, jump off that tower!" The seaman answers, "Excuse me, sir?" The admiral repeats, "JUMP OFF THAT TOWER!" The seaman replies, "Fuck you, sir!" The admiral says, "See? That man has balls and he's got brains too!"
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has 86.08 % from 611 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, military, navy, stupid
Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
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has 85.55 % from 1431 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, health
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!" The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little idiot on your knee!"
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has 85.54 % from 413 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, " ;because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because Im responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work... The ass hole is usually in charge.
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has 84.74 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, life, management, work
There were these two blonds and they locked their keys in their car. The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?" The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in." The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?" The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger." The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."
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has 84.26 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, stupid, weather
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
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has 81.43 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, men, stupid, women
Q: What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket? A: "Some asshole has my pen!"
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has 80.74 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, nurse
I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
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has 79.97 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: driving, health, stupid, work
Two Generals were preparing for battle. The first General calls his aide and says "Bring me my red uniform!" The other General asks why he would wear a red uniform. The first General explains that if he gets wounded then his soldiers won't see the blood and lose their courage. The other General thinks about this, then calls to his aide "Bring me my brown uniform!"
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has 79.50 % from 213 votes. More jokes about: dirty, health, military, stupid, war
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.
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has 78.85 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, stupid