Joke #12569

Your nails are so long when you come around the corner the police arrested you for dangerous weapons.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, insulting

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
Vote: has 86.16 % from 2026 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, horse, insulting, money, Santa
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
Vote: has 85.88 % from 2150 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, horse, insulting, money, Santa
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area. The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, animal, car, cop, party
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle. Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop
A Policeman pulls over a motorist for running a stop sign. The motorists says, "What's the problem officer, I slowed down for that stop sign?" The officer replies, "I know you slowed down, but you are supposed to stop." "But officer, I slowed down, what's the difference?" "The difference is, you're supposed to stop.", says the officer. "But I slowed down!" replied the motorist. The officer says, "Let me explain it to you this way. I'm going to drag your scrawny ass out of your car, then I'm going to take this stick I carry on my belt and I'm going to start beating you with it. After five minutes I'm going to ask you, do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?"
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop
What's the difference between a rooster and your mom? A rooster says cockadoodledoo, Your mom says anycockledoo.
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
The policeman had the bar under surveillance a few minutes before closing time, so he could see who comes out drunk. The first one out the door at 2:00 o'clock weaved down the sidewalk, then fell on the curb. Sluggishly got up, then tried his keys in five cars before finding his own car. Once inside his car, he fumbled with his keys for 2 or 3 minutes. Meanwhile, all the club patrons had gotten into their cars and driven away, leaving this one fellow quite alone in the parking lot. Finally, he got his car started and began to very slowly drive away. Immediately, the police car was behind him with lights flashing. The policeman asked the man to take a breathalyser test, to which he readily agreed. When the reading was 0.0%, the policeman said, "How can this be?" To which the man replied, "Because tonight, I'm the designated decoy."
Vote: has 83.73 % from 284 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, cop, drunk, time
Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: "Yes, it's me."
Vote: has 82.51 % from 77 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, driving, stupid
Yo mama's so old her breast milk is powdered.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, food, insulting, Yo mama