Joke #12569

Your nails are so long when you come around the corner the police arrested you for dangerous weapons.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: cop, insulting

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Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
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has 85.37 % from 2459 votes. More jokes about: cop, horse, insulting, money, Santa
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
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has 84.17 % from 2311 votes. More jokes about: cop, horse, insulting, money, Santa
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: cop, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A policeman stops two drunks and asks one, "Where do you live?" "Nowhere", the first drunk replied. "And where do you live?", he asks the other. "We're neighbours."
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: cop
A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Columbia." As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: cop, women
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: age, dinosaur, insulting, science, Yo mama
A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence. "Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."
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has 67.19 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: cop, hospital, nurse
A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He’s still wriggling. What should I do?" "In the back of your truck there’s a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush." The farm worker says okay and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush." "So what’s the problem now?" his Boss snapped. "The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!"
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has 71.33 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop
Your mom's so fat she sat on Big Lots and it turned into Lowes!!!
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Why are all jokes about women one-liners? So men can understand them.
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has 52.04 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: insulting, men, women