Joke #12573

Q: What is the difference between a teenager on her rag and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Terrorists have hijacked a planeload of lawyers bound for a legal convention. They’ve threatened to start releasing the lawyers one by one until their demands are met.

Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East? A: A Selfie!

I know when god becomes angry. When teenage girls get pregnant and their parents exclaim, "Oh god! What have you done?!"

I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.

A Muslim safely departs from a plane.

Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir."

Q: What did the cow say to the other cow? A: Moo.

Knock knock. Who's there? Allahu Akbar. Allahu AK- BOOM!!!

Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"

Tom and Timothy were in the same regiment in the army. They were inseparable friends and spent their evenings drinking together. After retirement, they went to different states and settled. However, they kept correspondence through letters and e-mails. To keep the memory of their boozing bouts alive, Tom always filled two glasses with rum and water and sipped from each alternately! When somebody asked him why he did so, he explained: "This glass is Timothy's; this one is mine. So I take a sip from each - one on behalf of Timothy, the other for myself." Suddenly one evening Tom was seen with only one glass on his table. He was asked what had happened. He replied, "You see, I have given up drinking but Timothy has written that he has not. So I have put away my glass and drink only on behalf of my friend."