Joke #12587

How to speak Irish: Whale Oil Beef Hooked Say them all quickly.
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, ethnic, geography

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The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles. The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store. At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approached the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means to lay down a base of fire!). The Marines promptly laid down a base of the fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting. The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!"
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has 81.65 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, geography, military
Two Italian men get on a bus... They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
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has 81.43 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: communication, ethnic, friendship, sex, vulgar
The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes. St. Peter: "What do you want? " Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: christian, communication, ethnic, heaven, time
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, mean, sex
A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "Free, sex, free, sex, tonight." The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.
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has 71.11 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: asian, communication, ethnic, phone, women
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.
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has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, geography, money, travel
In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long dicks. On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club. When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's penis length the guy said: "Mine is 10 inches long" The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing: "Here isn't a suitable place for you." The porter said, "Look at me I 've turned three time my dick around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby dick."
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, vulgar
My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, food, geography, travel
A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, "Nein!, Nein" So two guys walk away.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, ethnic, sex, stupid
I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, geography, music