Joke #12670

None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, friendship

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My friend's father died last night so I asked him "What was the cause of his father's death?" He said, "A bus passed over his finger!" I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause." My friend said: "When the bus crashed, his finger was on his nose!"
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has 84.36 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, friendship, travel
Two Italian men get on a bus... They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
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has 81.43 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: communication, ethnic, friendship, sex, vulgar
My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry. So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
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has 80.46 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, friendship, mean
Tom and Timothy were in the same regiment in the army. They were inseparable friends and spent their evenings drinking together. After retirement, they went to different states and settled. However, they kept correspondence through letters and e-mails. To keep the memory of their boozing bouts alive, Tom always filled two glasses with rum and water and sipped from each alternately! When somebody asked him why he did so, he explained: "This glass is Timothy's; this one is mine. So I take a sip from each - one on behalf of Timothy, the other for myself." Suddenly one evening Tom was seen with only one glass on his table. He was asked what had happened. He replied, "You see, I have given up drinking but Timothy has written that he has not. So I have put away my glass and drink only on behalf of my friend."
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has 79.95 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, communication, friendship, military, old people
Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball. "Don't you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one. "Are you sure?", the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that ball?" The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose it so I don't need another one." Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?" "That's okay," he replied, "this special golf ball floats. I'll be able to retrieve it." "Well, what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?" The other guy replied, "That's okay too. You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon. I'll be able to get it back - no problem." Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do then?" "No problem," says the other guy, "you see, this ball is fluorescent. I'll be able to see it in the dark." Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?" The other guy replies, "I found it."
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has 76.89 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, game, golf
Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me." The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"
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has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, memory, old people, time
A boastful hunter kept telling his buddies the same story, and they chided him for telling it over and over. He reminded them that they often tell the same stories. "Not so," said one friend. "We re-share, you repeat."
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, hunting
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, friendship, stupid
Two dyslectic fellas sat in the kitchen... Fella 1: "Ere, can you smell gas?" Fella 2: "Who me? No... I can't even smell my own name!"
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, health, stupid
Friend 1: "I like my women how I like my milk." Friend 2: "What? White?" Friend 1: "No, expired."
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, white people, wife