Joke #12681

I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade. Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, dirty, school

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A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?" "What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter. "Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter. "But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"
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has 83.13 % from 967 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, school
Three women were debating about how wide their pussy are. The first one said: "When my husband makes sex he puts his penis and his testicles in my pussy." The second lady said: "Wooo when we are in bed my husband puts his hand and his arm in mine." It was the turn of the third woman that pointed to her pussy and said: Jimy; Jimy come out, please."
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has 82.98 % from 1157 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex, women
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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has 82.48 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, old people
English Class Teacher: "One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?" Student: "Future impossible tense."
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has 82.32 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: communication, money, school, student, teacher
On the day of my big job interview I woke up late. Frantically I threw on a suit. "OH NO!" I thought. "MY TIE! My Dad was out of town and wasn't there to help me, and for the life of me, I did not know how to tie a tie!" I grabbed a tie and ran out the door. "Excuse me sir," I said to the crossing guard, "I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!" "Sure," said the guard, "just lie down on this bench." Well if someone was going to help me I wasn't going to ask any questions. After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down. "Well in my previous job I learned how to tie ties on other people when they were lying down." he replied. "What was your previous job?" I asked incredulously. "I ran a morgue." was the reply.
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has 82.28 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, time, work
Teacher and her 3 boy students: Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.” Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.” Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class… Teacher: “Why are you leaving?” Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”
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has 82.16 % from 584 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school, student, teacher
Q: What is a difference between Ooooh and Aaaah? A: Only 3 inches.
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has 81.92 % from 432 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
A man gets the words 'I love you' tattoed to his penis. He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says, "Don't try to put words into my mouth!"
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has 81.75 % from 1107 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, love, wife
Mother, "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick, "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother, "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick, "What school?"
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has 81.54 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: black humor, family, school
Little Johnny was at school one day, when he noticed that there was a large crowd of kids gathered around Little Billy. Little Johnny walks up to Little Billy and says "Hey what's all the excitement about", Little Billy says "Just showing everyone my new watch". Little Johnny goes "Wow, that's a cool watch where did you get it?" Little Billy says "Well, I walked in on my mom and dad having sex over the weekend, and my dad was so mad he gave me spanking and sent me to my room". The next day, he feel guilty about what he had done and went and bought me this cool Watch. This gives Little Johnny a good idea. Later that night, when Little Johnny was sent to bed, he stayed up listening and waiting for his mom and dad to go to bed. Once he starts hearing noises coming from their room he runs down the hall, throws their bedroom door open, and yells "I want a watch!" His dad looks over to Johnny and says "Well okay, but sit in the corner and be quiet!"
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has 81.49 % from 297 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, little Johnny, school, sex